Let’s cut to the chase: there aren’t any magic tricks, tips, or advice we can give you that will automatically win you a girlfriend when you’re 12 (or any other age!). Relationships are unique to each individual and each couple. The way those relationships begin are as diverse and different as the number of relationships.
However, there are a few things that we would say that might help you to find a relationship with a girl at your age:
Table of Contents
- Be Yourself, Love Yourself
- Be Kind and Considerate
- Be Confident
- Don’t Feel Pressured
- Don’t Be A Sore Loser
Be Yourself, Love Yourself
This is the most important piece of advice anyone can give you. Be yourself, and love yourself. Unfortunately, we don’t hear this enough in life. You might think of yourself as dorky, fat, ugly, useless, dumb, or any number of horrible things; you might even have been told that you are these things by the people in your life.
But the truth is, you’re none of them! You’re just you. That’s all. And you are amazing and unique and beautiful and powerful for it. No one else in the world is like you, so don’t try to be someone else. By being yourself and loving yourself, you’ll start to shine with confidence, and soon the girls you fancy will start to see it too.
Be Kind and Considerate
No one likes a meanie. Even though it’s easy to get frustrated, angry, and upset – especially at 12 years old, when you’re just about to start puberty and your mind is racing with hormones – it’s never a good look to direct this anger or upset at someone else.
When you’re asking a girl out, be considerate of her feelings and her position. Think about how you’d like to be asked out, and do the same. You probably would like to be asked out in private, so that there’s no pressure from other people to say something you don’t want to, for example.
You don’t have to plan asking somebody out, or get all worked up over it. Just be confident. If you like a girl and you want to ask her to be your girlfriend, then simply ask her. The absolute worst thing that could happen is that she says ‘no’.
That’s it! And if she says no, well, that’s her loss! But asking someone out and being rejected doesn’t shine badly on you. If anything, it shows other people that you have the courage to be open and honest about your feelings, and trust me when I tell you, that’s a great way to be.
Don’t Feel Pressured
Ask yourself: Why do I want a girlfriend? Do you want a girlfriend at age 12 just because all of your friends have one? Or do you want to get a girlfriend because there is someone in particular who you really like?
You shouldn’t look for a girlfriend just for the sake of having a girlfriend, because then the relationship won’t mean anything emotionally. You should only try to get a girlfriend if you feel ready in yourself to be in a relationship, and if you actually fancy someone enough to ask them.
Don’t Be A Sore Loser
Rejection is a part of life, simple as that. And at 12 years old, you will probably face rejection when you ask a girl to be your girlfriend. After all, you’re taking a leap of faith that the person in question likes you too, when in reality she might just see you as a friend, or not feel attracted to you in that way.
But just because she might say no doesn’t need to mean anything more than that she just doesn’t feel that way. Don’t be angry, or frustrated, and certainly don’t take your frustrations out on her. It’s completely natural to be upset, of course, but you will feel better soon, and in time you’ll find someone else you fancy and will ask her out, and at some point, you’ll meet someone who feels the same way about you.
There’s no easy trick to getting a girlfriend at age twelve, you just have to be kind to yourself and others, be confident, and be understanding if you’re rejected. Do those things, and you’ll find the right person when the time is right!
If you still have any other questions about dating at twelve, or you’d like more information, see our FAQs below.
Is it okay not to have a girlfriend at age 12?
You might be feeling a little worried that you’ve turned 12 years old but don’t have (or have never had) a girlfriend. But please don’t worry. It is absolutely okay not to have a girlfriend at age 12, no matter how much other people in your class might suggest that it’s not normal.
In fact, many many people all around the world don’t find their first girlfriend or boyfriend until they’re much older. Some people can go almost their whole lives before finding the right person, whereas other people go into relationships with hundreds of different partners which never work out.
You don’t have to have a girlfriend at 12 years old (or at any age, for that matter) to make you who you are. You are you, and that’s great! Be kind to yourself and don’t spend time worrying about finding a girlfriend. Someone will come along for you when the time is right.
What’s the best way to get a girlfriend at age 12?
There is simply no ‘best’ way to get a girlfriend. Not at age 12 or any other age. If you read flirting techniques or tips and tricks elsewhere online, you can rest assured that they are pretty worthless pieces of advice.
Ultimately, the only good way to ever ‘get’ a boyfriend or girlfriend is just to be a good, kind, compassionate person who tells people how they feel, and employs a little confidence to ask someone out when they fancy them. You can’t ever change the way other people feel about you, so don’t bother trying.
Just be yourself and the people who love you for that will be the people you end up with around you. Be proud of yourself, and don’t get down if the person you fancy doesn’t fancy you back. There will be others!
What should I do if the girl I ask out rejects me?
If you ask out a girl when you’re twelve years old (or any age to be honest) and she rejects you, then the best thing you can do is just accept this calmly and leave it be. Try to see things from the girl’s perspective: you asked her out, and she didn’t want to lead you along or hurt your feelings, so she just told the truth – she doesn’t feel the same way about you.
The worst thing you can do if a girl rejects you is to get angry or blame that person or say unkind things to her or about her. It can be very upsetting to be rejected, of course, but a rejection isn’t about you. It’s about them and their feelings. They can’t change how they feel or don’t feel about you, and so if they just don’t fancy you, they have to say no when you ask them out.
Think about it: what would you say if a girl you didn’t feel attracted to asked you out? You would also have to say no. It doesn’t mean the girl is unattractive, she’s just not attractive in that way to you. It’s the same the other way round.
What do you do with a girlfriend when you’re 12 years old?
If you get the girl of your 12-year old dreams, then you might suddenly panic. What do you do with a girlfriend? Should you go on dates? Hold hands? Should you kiss? The trick is not to worry. If you asked this girl out (or she asked you) and they said yes, then they like you just as much as you like them.
Therefore, you’re bound to have a fun time together whatever you do. You could go for walks around the park, town, or city. You could go to the cinema to see a movie you both like the look of. You could stay in and play games, watch movies, or just chat. You could meet your friends for a bigger party. You could go for pizza, or hot chocolate, or to a cafe. You could listen to music together. The possibilities are endless.
When it comes to what’s expected of you (hugs, kisses, holding hands), the answer is: nothing! And nothing should be expected of her, either. You should only ever do what both of you are comfortable with, and only after making sure that you’re both comfortable with it. Consent is important, so don’t be embarrassed: ask her if you can hold her hand, or give her a kiss. If she wants to like you do, you’ll soon find out! And if she doesn’t, that’s okay, too. She might just need time to grow comfortable with you.
How to get a girlfriend at age 12 if you’re also a girl?
When you’re twelve years old, you are just starting to work out for yourself what kind of people you fancy and to what degree. You may not have ever thought about your friends in this way before now, or you may have been considering your sexuality for a few years already.
If you are a girl and you think that you like another girl, you might feel a little confused. But don’t worry! Everyone likes different kinds of people. Some people like both boys and girls, some people like only girls, some people only like boys, and some people don’t fancy anyone at all. However you feel is totally natural and nothing to be ashamed of.
However, you might still feel unsure about how to tell if the girl you fancy is also into you, or also fancies other girls. This can be a tricky situation and difficult to know how to navigate. But honestly, there’s no better advice for you than the advice we’ve already discussed above.
Tell the person how you feel, and if they feel the same, great! If they don’t, then don’t worry about it. They might feel differently in time, and if not, there will be plenty of other girls for you to ask out in future. It’s not the end of the world, I promise.